shouldn't you have something better to do than some boy?

I feel like I am becoming a machine in the hands of something bigger. A tool. A creative tool, my body is hot, my mind is blank and my dreams are blending into my days.

I hit a brick wall. I should stop hitting myself against a brick wall.

I have so much angst. I am just full of complaints about everything. India, men, my parents, my exes, my job, my mother, my younger sister, my 20 year old fuck buddies, the gossiping brats. People, their looks, their smothering love, their opinions.

This guy, touches me, gives me hugs, treats me like a woman and then expects me to not want to have sex with him. He is a guy's guy after all. stop obsessing over him you idiot.

I feel like I am going through a sickness. My entire body is hot. I have been smoking weed. Should not be. Please stop smoking weed. Thats enough. I just want to chill the fuck out.