shouldn't you have something better to do than some boy?

I feel like I am becoming a machine in the hands of something bigger. A tool. A creative tool, my body is hot, my mind is blank and my dreams are blending into my days.

I hit a brick wall. I should stop hitting myself against a brick wall.

I have so much angst. I am just full of complaints about everything. India, men, my parents, my exes, my job, my mother, my younger sister, my 20 year old fuck buddies, the gossiping brats. People, their looks, their smothering love, their opinions.

This guy, touches me, gives me hugs, treats me like a woman and then expects me to not want to have sex with him. He is a guy's guy after all. stop obsessing over him you idiot.

I feel like I am going through a sickness. My entire body is hot. I have been smoking weed. Should not be. Please stop smoking weed. Thats enough. I just want to chill the fuck out.

my parents display a certain characteristic of the rich. arrogance. a sense of entitlement. like the maidservant need not celebrate ganesha chaturthi, and has to be home early for our puja. my mother has the demeanour of a queen. she is a true beauty, by any standards. she had fair skin, and to many in her land that would be a good enough characteristic of beauty.

Never Be Formulaic

Always Question the Prevailing Rhetoric

Never Bow

Be Strong

You were born for this

i am a chauvinist as far as science goes. Biology is just classification and pure mathematics is pedantic.

Physics is awesome. And Chemistry. Heat, Energy, Thermodynamics. You can understand the world by following the flows of energy.

humans derive strength from the solidity of the ground. from immovable objects. A strong back needs a hard mattress. breasts need a human bra.

now that i am in india

i have no more need of

bollywood.

appetite for the undigestable
is slowly getting satisfied

old labs new ideas

admin terrace
granite fortress glass palace

people

doing whoever whatever however.